Staying single is a personal choice. Yes, I sometimes long to be with someone special. I want to share a piece of me. I want to take care of another human being. I want to make someone happy. I want to be vulnerable and helpless in front of him, because I know deep inside that I will not be judged. I want to fall in love.
Love. That word scares the sh*t out of me. How can I love someone, if I’m still learning how to love myself? I don’t want to be a burden. I don’t want to share my pain and struggle. I want to be whole first, before letting someone in. Because I believe that the person I’ll be loving someday deserves nothing but the best from me. I don’t need him to complete me. I need to be complete first, on my own.
I’m trying. I’m trying so hard to be ok. To function. To feel whole. To act normal. To live. And hopefully someday to love.
